A couple of months ago a very good client, whom I think is totally awesome :), showed me her beautiful Mardi Gras ball gown. It was gorgeous! A white floor length beauty. One shouldered, with multicolored detailing snaking across the back, circling the waist, and touching the top of the long slit that began at the thigh and ended at the floor. A garment fit for any Roman Queen. I was giddy! Show me a beautiful dress and I am in heaven with a myriad of ideas, flashing before my eyes at the perfect looks to accompany such a lovely frock. And it was going to look just amazing on her tall, slender frame.
So, naturally my questions began.
"How are you gonna wear your hair? What about your shoes? Your accessories?" and the biggie. "OOOOH, How are you gonna wear your makeup?''
Her response. "Well, You could do my makeup for me if your free"
I excitedly respond. "I will totally do it for you!"
Then she says "and if you wanted to, you could just stay and come to the ball with us" And she tells me another good client of mine, whom I also think is totally awesome :) is going as well.
Huh? my brain says. Did she just invite us to the Bacchus Ball?
Now, I have never had to much interest in Mardi Gras itself but I have always, my whole life wanted to go to a Mardi Gras Ball! My heart is leaping and jumping at this statement. Say yes! Say yes! Say Yes! But, my rational brain is saying. Whoa Nelly. We gotta test these waters. Maybe she is just being nice.
So my voice says out loud. "well, I don't know if I am ball material, but I would love to do your makeup for you".
Then she sweetens the pot. "Well I totally think you should come and if you can get a sitter we will be there the whole weekend, it's gonna be fun!"
The whole weekend? huh, this broad must really like me! I surprisingly think to myself. Not that I'm not cool. I totally think I'm cool, I just find it weird when other people think it to. I know, makes no sense. Welcome, to my little world :)
So a couple weeks later, I decided to step outside my comfort zone. Double checked with The Husband and accepted the invitation. I was stoked! I was going to get a whole weekend away doing fun stuff! I was getting to do their makeup for the ball and I was going to the ball myself! It couldn't get any better!
Then, about two weeks out I got the tentative time frame for my hubbies return. It got moved up. My Mardi Gras adventure began to look grim. But, I kept hoping. Chanting to myself it will work out, my once in a lifetime opportunity will work out! Then, less than a week before. I got the date. It was only two days before my fun weekend was to start and four days before the ball. I knew it was a no go.
My Husband had been gone for 10 months. He left 19 days before our son was born. He watched his birth over Skype. He saw us for just a few days when he made Chief and I flew myself and my 3 1/2 month old son all the way to Guam to pin him (which now, I believe to have been postpartum insanity). That was six months ago. I missed this man more than should be humanly possible to miss someone. I had been rendered incomplete with out him. So how could I just throw the deuce and walk out, not even a full two days after picking him up? How could I leave him and a baby he loved more than his own life, but barely knew to just work it out? And the worst thing about it, on top of all that, was that he told me to. His exact words "You have missed so much because of me, I don't want you to miss this too".
I know! Let me just say, I absolutely, 100% don't deserve him! If I could just get him to hug me a little bit more and start exercising his bodily functions a little bit less, he would be daggum near perfect! Oh, and tell me I'm pretty atleast once a day!
So, I did what I had to. I sucked up my disappointment, and reigned in my reluctance at not being selfish one more time. (*Side Note: Growth sucks sometimes!) I sent an e-mail, because it was late and I wanted to let her know asap, explaining my situation and thanking her for the invitation, expressing, probably a little to much of my disappointment (because I am eternally selfish) and apologizing for not being able to let her know sooner.
I saw both of my clients this past week before they descended to New Orleans for the weekend. Having families themselves, the both perfectly understood. I wished them a grand time and of course him hawed a little over the suckiness of missing it.
To make myself feel slightly better. I like to think that they flitted sulkily around their hotel rooms exclaiming "it's just not the same without Leigh here!" Throwing themselves on their beds and having a good cry in my absence. But who am I kidding, LOL! No one! I just like to imagine sometimes that the word stops and melts for me....
So this evening when I was walking from the back of my house, heading for the kitchen to do the dinner dishes. I was lost in thought, it was around the time I know the ball was just getting going. And, I couldn't help but think of the time I might have been having. I stumbled upon this....
and as I heard my husband singing to his son, our son. I knew without a shadow of a doubt, I was exactly where I belonged this weekend :) With the best thing that ever happened in my life and his little protege.
So have a drink for me ladies, and I know you were the Belles of the ball! Even without me there ;)
Oh who am I kidding. Have four drinks for me, that's just two a piece ya'll can handle it! See ya in a couple weeks. Love you Ladies and I want pictures!!!
The Reluctant Domestic
*it was silent while I typed this, The Husband was asleep next to me....
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